They say you don’t really know someone until you live with them, which is why moving in with a partner can make or break some couples.
A woman who uses the handle u/gothfather3 on Reddit has racked up 7,400 upvotes by sparking a discussion, asking users to share moments when they were confused or shocked by something they didn’t know their partner did until they started living together.
On September 16, she wrote: “One night after washing up, I caught him ramming leftover food down the kitchen sink like he was trying to destroy evidence. [Obviously], I asked what on EARTH he was doing. His deadpan response was, ‘What? They do this in America?'”
A stock image of a couple arguing in the kitchen. While there’s no mention of broken plates, Reddit users have flocked to the comment section to explain unusual habits their partner has.
Dragos Condrea/iStock/Getty Images Plus
Indeed, American sinks offer a seemingly easy solution to the dispose of food. But it isn’t advised by Environmental Protection Agency (EPA). To sustainably manage food waste, the EPA advises against this method because sending food down the drain leads to methane emissions, a potent greenhouse gas, as the food decays in the sewer system.
The post continues: “We live in the U.K., my guy, where regular kitchen sinks very rarely double up as food disposers,” she wrote, explaining how perplexed she was that he had most likely applied this “logic” to British plumbing for no valid reason whatsoever. “I dread to think of how many innocent and helpless sinks he has blocked,” she added.
How Soon Is Too Soon to Move In Together?
The woman states they had been in a relationship for four years before buying a property together in 2022. According to a 2021 YouGov poll, around four in 10 Americans (45%) think couples should wait at least a year before living together, with 14 percent of these saying a couple should wait until they’re married. For 17 percent, the earliest acceptable time is after dating for more than one year, but less than two years.
London-based dating expert Charlotte Ball spoke to Newsweek about this milestone, revealing that every relationship is different and there’s no “one-size-fits-all” approach to when it’s the right time to live together.
“It depends on the couple and what stage their relationship is at,” said the co-founder of matchmaking company Bond The Agency. “There are key indicators that suggest it’s the right time for a couple to move in together.
“For instance, if the couple has spent significant time together and realizes their values and ambitions are aligned, they may see a future together. This usually means both partners are completely committed to one another, with a real sense of trust and open communication. For some couples, it could take as little as six weeks or a few months, while for others, it may take many years.”
Reddit Reacts
Regardless of how long they’ve been together, many people have had jaw-dropping moments like the original poster. So far, the comments section has been flooded with stories.
One user said: “Mine had never used detergent in the washing machine. Just put the clothes in, closed the door, and pressed ‘on.’ Assumed it just happened.”
Another shared: “Saw him fold his dirty shirt before putting it in the laundry basket,” while a third user wrote: “Cooking chicken with no seasoning at all. Just plain white chicken breast. Still blows my mind now. Luckily, I really enjoy cooking, and she’s always happy to just wash up.”
Tips for Couples Preparing to Move in Together
There are many things to consider before making the move, as noted by Ball, who has provided three tips for couples preparing to take the plunge:
- “Communication is vital for any healthy relationship. You need to discuss not only the logistics of moving in together, but you should also set aside time to discuss the transition and any fears/worries you have. It is entirely normal to have concerns as well as excitement, especially if this is a step towards a more permanent commitment such as marriage and children. Also, each person must be completely open and if either has any non-negotiables, for instance TV in the bedrooms, smoking inside etc., they must speak up prior to moving in together!”
- “Put a financial plan in place. One of the major causes of arguments between a couple is related to money. By organizing your finances, agreeing on how bills and expenditure shall be divided up, as well as devising a household budget, this will minimize the chance of you falling out over money.”
- “Agree on who is responsible for which household chores and stick to it.”
Newsweek reached out to u/gothfather3 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.
Have you noticed any red flags that made you end a relationship? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
