Is Jennifer Lopez Addicted to Falling in Love?

When Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck announced they were splitting up for a second time, the news made headlines around the world.

After all, they were Hollywood A-listers who first fell in love at the beginning of the millennium and embarked on a high-profile relationship, only to split up not long after getting engaged. Then, nearly two decades they got back together, the pair eloped in Las Vegas, Nevada, in 2020 and declared “love wins,” via Lopez’s newsletter.

However, only a few years later, and after Lopez’s high-budget, self-funded film telling their journey to love, she announced she had filed for divorce.

There was then a media frenzy and speculation about what happened, which is to be expected with celebrities of this caliber. However, other pundits started questioning Lopez’s relationship to falling in love and getting married.

She was once again accused of being a “love addict,” this time in the TMZ documentary JLo & Ben: Missed Warning Signs. The View co-host, Ana Navarro, said that Lopez was “addicted to marriage, to love, to being part of a couple, to romance,” when the divorce was announced in May. However, experts talking to Newsweek have countered these claims.

It is not the first time these labels have been leveled at the singer and actress, whom pundits have said has a penchant for rushing to the altar on the account of her four marriages and three engagements that did not end up in a wedding.

Newsweek contacted Lopez’s representatives by email a week ahead of the time of publishing.

What Is Love Addiction?

While not a recognized mental health issue in the DSM-5—the latest edition of Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders published by the American Psychiatric Association—’love addiction’ can be debilitating and requires professional help.

The term in itself “is part of a larger spectrum of sex and love addiction that includes relationship addiction, romance addiction, marriage addiction,” and more, licensed therapist in sex and relationships Kerry Cohen told Newsweek.

“The terms are less important because they don’t really capture what this issue actually is. For one thing, love addiction isn’t an addiction to love so much as to the fantasy we might build about love and relationships,” Cohen said. “Someone who is truly love-addicted doesn’t really know how to love or even what love is.”

Signs a person may suffer from love addiction could be habitually jumping from one relationship to another; intensely pursuing a partner; and feeling adored at the beginning of a relationship.

“After typically three to six months, the fantasy breaks when denial of the reality of the partner’s flaws become too obvious to deny,” Lara Dye, love and sex addiction therapist told Newsweek. “They report feeling extreme emotional pain, fears of ‘never being loved’ and will often remark they will ‘always be alone’.”

However, even if love addiction is not recognized in the DSM-5, it is critical for people to get help if they believe they have it because its effects can be serious; some people have reported suicidal ideations, according to the experts Newsweek spoke to.

“The behaviors associated with love addiction can lead to chronic stress, depression, anxiety, and other mental-health issues. Additionally, it can negatively impact one’s life, including their career, friendships, and family relationships,” licensed marriage therapist and owner of TalkThinkThrive, Omar Ruiz, told Newsweek.

“Similar to the term ‘gaslighting’, by which it is also a mainstream word that is not recognized by the DSM, love addiction can still lead someone to get into an endless cycle of relationship dysfunction.”

Dye said that other signs of love addiction include excessive need for attention and approval; a strong fear of abandonment; viewing their partner in an unrealistic and overly positive light; loss of the sense of self-importance; compulsive behaviors; and withdrawal-like symptoms after a relationship ends.

“All sex and love addicts attempt to use other people to fill their emptiness, to fix their emotional wounds. It’s a very selfish addiction in this way,” Cohen said. “They tend to believe that they’re the ones who are trying to have real intimacy and the other person isn’t, but in fact love addicts are not available to intimacy.”

Is J-Lo a ‘Love Addict’?

All the three experts Newsweek spoke to about this topic said that it would be both unethical and impossible to say conclusively whether Lopez has love addiction; it is not “smart to armchair-diagnose people,” added Cohen.

“Without a thorough, personalized assessment from a qualified counseling professional, labeling someone as ‘love addicted’… simply based on public behavior alone is speculative at best,” Ruiz said.

“I can’t offer a formal diagnosis since I have not met or evaluated Jennifer Lopez. Aside from her multiple marriages, there would need to be many more symptoms or issues to consider.”

People also need to take into consideration that celebrities live their lives through a very different lens to others, and therefore may have different approaches to relationships.

“Accurately diagnosing a celebrity with any psychological syndrome would be difficult as the privileges and pressures for celebrities are highly often detached from the experiences or realities of ordinary people,” Dye said.

“Whether it’s a well-known celebrity or social-media influencer, due to the curated and often sensationalized nature of media portrayals, mental-health issues can be seen and interpreted as extreme problems,” Ruiz said.

“In my humble opinion, discussions should avoid making assumptions or diagnoses from afar, recognizing that mental health is deeply personal and complex. From there, conversations need to focus on understanding and educating the public, rather than judgment or speculation simply for clickbait.”

Let J-Lo Live Her Life

Another point all three experts agreed on was that a person’s relationship history was entirely their own business and love is not a uniform experience.

“This is also typical of our cultural pop psychology… When it comes to relationships and sex, we have a very limited, very gendered approach in Western culture. We’re made to believe there is only one way to be in romantic relationships and one way to deem such relationships healthy,” Cohen said.

“Maybe J-Lo loves to be inside romance. Maybe she wants to live her life in a way that she can experience the highs and lows of that, which means trying out relationships with a bunch of different people.”

Ruiz added that Lopez has every “right to date and marry whomever she feels is best for her.”