A Texas woman has opened up about a profound moment that unfolded on her wedding night.
Nika Diwa, 34, shared in an Instagram reel in June that she had endured six years of trauma and abuse from past relationships with men.
On her wedding anniversary, Diwa explained in the reel that by the time she met her husband, Emeka Ihedigbo, (which she describes as her “first healthy relationship“), she didn’t know what she was doing.
“After years of trauma and abuse from men, I had to completely rewire my mind and shift my perspective on myself and the way I viewed relationships,” Diwa told Newsweek.
The 34-year-old admitted that she “freaked out” and felt stuck in a cycle of fear and self-doubt. On their wedding night, she told her husband “you need me” and his response was anything but typical.
She recalled how he turned the tables and said, “No, I don’t need you.” The statement, sounding harsh initially, then took a twist and held a deeper meaning.
Ihedigbo continued: “That’s why I can stand here and love you through this. Whatever it is that you are believing about yourself, that is a lie.”
Diwa told Newsweek that she was shocked initially by her husband’s statement but after processing it, realized that when she’s reached the point that she can stand on her own as an individual is when she’s the healthiest version of herself.
Nika Diwa, 34, was celebrating her wedding anniversary and shared the story of how her husband told her she didn’t need her on her wedding night.
@nika.diwa
“I realized that I do not ‘need’ anyone to be fulfilled and worthy. I am enough just as I am. All by myself. The blessing of loving someone else is just a bonus,” she said.
Diwa calls her husband’s declaration her “biggest flex” as per the text overlay on the Instagram reel, which has elicited over 3 million views since it was uploaded.
Many viewers on Instagram shared their admiration for Ihedigbo’s understanding of Diwa’s past trauma, with one user commenting that they hope to have a husband like him one day.
Another Instagram user wrote: “Isn’t that so special when two people can do that for each other. Truly love unconditionally. Imagine the healing you can bring to each other. Knowing you’re accepted in chosen like that.”
Diwa continued to emphasize her husband’s support in the reel. After he declared that he would stand by here to heal from the abuse, Ihedigbo said: “Because my value, my worth, does not depend on you. That is why you can say these horrible things to me and I’m going to stand here and love the fear out of you.”
This appeared to be the most striking point amongst viewers on Instagram, as one user commented that his statement “spoke volumes,” while another petitioned for him to write a book for other men to read.
Research on traumatic and abusive relationships highlight its prevalence in the United States. According to the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS), conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), approximately 1 in 4 women in the U.S. have experienced severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
“I’m so grateful for the village of friends, therapists, and counselors who helped me along my healing journey,” Diwa told Newsweek.
Anyone seeking help should call the National Domestic Violence Hotline, a free and confidential hotline available 24/7. It can be reached on 1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1-800-787-3224. The hotline also provides information on local resources. For more information visit thehotline.org.
