The internet is rallying behind a new mother of twins, calling for her to leave her husband due to his dismissive and disrespectful behavior following the birth of their children.
A 28-year-old woman (u/Diligent_Pipe2625) turned to the popular “Am I The A******?” Reddit forum for advice after a heated argument with her husband resulted in her smashing his golf clubs in frustration.
“I (28F) recently gave birth to our twin babies—a boy, Oliver, and a girl, Lily. They’re almost 9 weeks old now, and while I’m overjoyed to be a mom, I’ve never felt more physically and emotionally drained in my life,” she shared on Reddit in a post that garnered 19,000 upvotes.
The ordeal began after the woman suffered a postpartum hemorrhage during childbirth, losing so much blood that she required emergency surgery. She spent two weeks in the hospital recovering.
“I nearly died,” she wrote, adding, “The physical recovery has been brutal, but the emotional toll is even worse, and I feel like I’m drowning every single day.”
Initially, her husband Matt, 32, was supportive while she recovered in the hospital. However, once they returned home, things took a turn. Matt retreated to his “man cave,” playing video games and going out with friends, leaving the woman to handle the newborns alone.
Though Matt works a 9-to-5 job, he claimed he needed to “decompress” after work, dismissing her pleas for help and saying: “This is what moms do.”
“Breastfeeding has been a nightmare. Lily struggles to latch, which leads to bleeding nipples, and every feeding session feels like torture,” the Redditor said, detailing how difficult recovery had been for her.
Matt, on the other hand, was more focused on his own needs. He repeatedly asked when they would resume their sex life, complaining that he was “frustrated” after two months without intimacy. His advances even started at five weeks postpartum, despite her still being in pain from the birth.
Her breaking point came after a particularly grueling day with the twins. Sleep-deprived and physically weak from anemia, she nearly dropped one of her babies during a feeding session and broke down in tears. Matt, who had spent the day golfing, returned home late and laughed at her distress.
“At around 4 PM, I was trying to feed Oliver while Lily was crying. My hands were shaking from sheer exhaustion, and in that moment, I almost dropped Oliver. I caught him just in time, but it scared me so badly that I collapsed on the floor in tears.”
Stock photo of parents arguing. An exhausted mom asked the internet for advice after she was frustrated that her husband wouldn’t help with their newborn twins.
nd3000/iStock / Getty Images Plus
When Matt finally arrived home at 9 p.m., his nonchalant reaction and giggle pushed her over the edge. In a moment of rage, she grabbed his beloved golf clubs and smashed two of them. Matt’s response was to call her “crazy” and storm out to spend the night at a friend’s place. His best friend later texted her, accusing her of being “psycho” and demanding she apologize.
“I’m starting to feel like maybe I did overreact, but at the same time, I’m so angry that he doesn’t seem to care about how hard things have been for me,” she reflected, questioning whether her actions were justified.
Expert Opinion
Dr. Deborah Gilman, a licensed psychologist, weighed in with Newsweek on the situation.
“New mothers often experience a significant level of physical and emotional exhaustion. The demands of caring for twins can be particularly overwhelming, especially when feeling unsupported,” Gilman said. “Breaking the golf clubs may have been a way to express her frustration and anger, even if it wasn’t a conscious decision.”
She emphasized that parenting is a shared responsibility, and both partners must be actively involved in caring for their children.
“There are glaring Issues within the relationship noted by this mother, including communication problems, lack of respect, poor boundaries or lack of trust, all which can affect sexual intimacy.
“Not to mention the fact that she just had a very complex labor/delivery of twins, and pain, fatigue, or other physical issues along with hormone fluctuations can affect libido,” she added.
Reddit Reacts
Reddit users were quick to support the mother, overwhelmingly siding with her and criticizing her husband for his lack of involvement.
“NTA! You need to divorce him. There is no hope here whatsoever. Get alimony, child support, and kick him out,” commented u/catfish1960.
“Hats off to you. My blood is boiling on your behalf. If my husband ever behaved like yours, he would be living on the streets,” wrote u/HumbleWarning976. “What a despicable human being he is. I’m so sorry you’re having such a rough time.”
While many supported the idea of divorce, some Redditors also suggested she may be struggling with postpartum depression, urging her to seek help for the emotional and physical strain she was under.
Postpartum depression can manifest through various symptoms, including intense sadness, exhaustion, anxiety and feelings of hopelessness. New mothers may struggle with bonding with their baby, have difficulty sleeping (even when their baby sleeps), experience irritability, or feel overwhelmed.
Newsweek reached out to u/Diligent_Pipe2625 for comment via Reddit. We could not verify the details of the case.
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