Why do we weep? There are actually some good reasons for it — and an explanation for why a little blubbering can make us feel better.
On “CBS Mornings Plus” Wednesday, Dr. Gail Saltz, an associate professor of psychiatry at the New York Presbyterian Hospital Weill-Cornell School of Medicine, shared there are actually different types of tears, which serve different purposes.
Some tears cleanse your eyes and keep them moist.
“Those are ophthalmological issues, and they’re very different from emotional tears — social-emotional tears — which can be related to sadness, stress, anxiety, but also overwhelming joy, something that’s poignant.”
Those social-emotional tears, she said, “have to do with deep brain structure, emotional intensity and subsequently this release of tears, and they contain different compounds like stress hormones, like cortisol and endorphins.”
These types of tears are helpful because they provide an emotional release — what some refer to as “a good cry.”
“Those risen hormones that make you so stressed and so upset, they decrease after the cry, so you actually feel better,” Saltz said.
Crying also serves an evolutionary purpose.
“It signals to others around us that we’re feeling vulnerable, that we’re having a very difficult time, and it helps bring those people to us, to support us, hopefully, to let them know that we need help,” she said.
Kids crying
Parents know kids can seemingly cry over nothing, but Saltz said there’s good reason not to shut down children’s tears immediately.
“Children have not yet been signaled that crying is not OK, and that’s a good thing, because they are able to release their emotions and they’re able to experience them and talk about them afterwards. That’s healthy,” she said. “What’s not healthy is, we as a society, shaming people for crying — especially boys, which then they shut down and try to hide and not experience their emotions or be in touch with them, and later that comes out as anger, alcohol use, all kinds of problems. So it’s good to be able to cry.”
You want to strike a balance with kids, Saltz said, not punishing or rewarding them for crying.
“We have a tendency and empathy to want to rush in and stop someone from crying because it makes us feel bad. That’s not the best,” she said. “You want to let them cry, sit with them (and say), ‘I understand you’re having a hard time. I understand this is a struggle. And then afterwards, try to use your words to explain what was going on and how I can help you.'”
How to stop crying
Even though tears aren’t the enemy, sometimes it’s not ideal to cry in certain settings. Saltz said some grounding exercises can help, including:
- Distracting yourself with an intense feeling like biting the inside of your cheek or pressing on this webbing between your fingers
- Looking up to help prevent tearing
- Distracting yourself by counting backward from 100 in your head
- Excusing yourself to go have your cry elsewhere
“Go in the bathroom, have your cry, you will feel better, or compose yourself (and) go back out,” Saltz said.
