A man has been backed online after sharing why he has decided to call off his engagement.
The man took to the platform on August 18 to walk viewers online through his decision which stemmed from discovering his fiancé’s deceit regarding her pregnancy. The post has garnered 16,000 upvotes and sparked a flurry of comments supporting his actions.
The man had opted for the meticulous use of contraceptives in the relationship, considering his unwavering stance on remaining child-free. This was contrasted by his partner’s secretive tampering with birth control to conceive, resulting in their split, he said.
“My [ex] partner has been on the pill throughout our relationship and we’ve been in a battle these past few weeks over having children,” the 29-year-old man who is based in England said. “I categorically said that I don’t want them and started using condoms for double protection.”
Despite these precautions, the man’s ex-partner announced her pregnancy, which led to a critical revelation, he said. The original poster wrote that she admitted to discontinuing her use of the pill and piercing their stored condoms, hoping to force a change in his decision on children. Faced with the betrayal, the man said he decided to end their engagement, citing a complete loss of trust in his ex.
“I’ve said that I don’t want this and that I’m not up for marrying into a relationship based on lies,” he said.
‘Breach of Trust’
The stark breaking of trust and manipulation prompted him to seek legal advice and plan his next steps, including potentially leaving the country and pursuing self-employment to avoid unwarranted paternity obligations.
“This situation is incredibly complex, emotionally charged, and legally sensitive,” Sophie Cress, a licensed marriage and family therapist, told Newsweek. “From a relationship and psychological perspective, it’s important to recognize that trust is foundational in any partnership.”
Cress highlighted the ex-partner’s actions as a serious “breach of trust,” pointing out that such behavior undermines the very foundation of a relationship.
“If one partner unilaterally decides to change an agreed-upon plan, such as remaining child-free, without a thorough and consensual discussion, it can lead to significant conflicts,” she said.
Cress said that the ex’s unilateral decision to conceive, despite an agreement to stay child-free, constitutes not only a violation of trust but also an assault on the man’s autonomy and right to make informed decisions about his life. In their discussions, the man had made no secret of his disinterest in having children, even scheduling a vasectomy.
According to the therapist, the man’s then-partner’s deliberate actions to counteract their agreed-upon contraceptive measures left him feeling deceived and coerced.
“Her actions in tampering with contraception could potentially influence any legal proceedings,” Cress said, especially given his documented evidence of coercion.
The therapist recommended that the man seek support from friends, family, or a therapist to navigate his emotions and future plans. The end of the relationship, under these circumstances, could call for ongoing psychological support to help process the betrayal and develop healthy coping strategies.
The complicated post underscores the importance of mutual respect and honest communication in decisions as significant as having children.
Representative image of a pregnant woman arguing with her partner. A man has been backed by viewers online after sharing why he has called off his engagement.
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Among viewers online, the man’s decision to call off the engagement has been widely supported for its stance on upholding personal boundaries and integrity. Reddit users have denounced the woman’s actions as manipulative and unethical.
As he navigates the legal and emotional ramifications of this ordeal, the broader discussion serves as a cautionary tale about the necessity of trust, communication, and respect in relationships, particularly when confronting life-altering decisions.
The community on Reddit has largely sided with the man, validating his decision to remain child-free.
“Reproductive coercion has been illegal in the U.K. since 2015,” one user said. “Seek out legal counsel as soon as you can.”
“Also get a DNA test,” another suggested. “She’s crazy. She may very well have cheated and just lied about the condoms.”
“Did she think he was a complete idiot and not notice that the baby would arrive months after it was supposed to, if she got pregnant quickly,” a third viewer shared.
“So many people believe that people who don’t want children will eventually change their mind. I once had that conversation with someone who lived in her own little world filled with sunshine and rainbows; she didn’t believe a word I said and kept countering with nonsense. It’s exhausting,” another added.
Newsweek reached out to the OP, u/tiredofeditingshit, for more information on Reddit.
Have you noticed any red flags that made you end a relationship? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
