Internet users are rallying around a woman who is divorcing her husband over his infidelity—despite her daughters’ threat to ghost her.
In a situation that has captivated Reddit users, a woman known as u/Ok_Ostrich5154 shared her difficult decision to divorce her husband, despite her daughters’ warnings that they would sever ties with her if she followed through with it.
Her post on the subreddit “AITAH” (Am I The A******) quickly amassed more than 25,000 upvotes as the Reddit community rallied around her.
The woman said that she discovered her husband’s infidelity just three months ago. He had cheated on her during both of her pregnancies, while they were expecting their now 14- and 16-year-old daughters.
“Until then we were a very happy family and my husband is a great dad,” she wrote. “Our daughters are 14 and 16. They know the reason we are getting a divorce and that he had two affairs with two women but not all the details. They are opposed to the idea of divorce anyway and they threatened to never see me again if I went through with it because the offense happened so long ago.”
While the poster is aware that her daughters are upset, she said she struggles with staying in a relationship that she feels has been fundamentally broken. “I understand that they don’t want change and their lives in upheaval,” she shared. “I know all that, but I just can’t be with him anymore. I can’t even look at him. Nothing is working. Therapy is not working, and they are adamant about never seeing me again. I haven’t seen them in two months.”
The poster added how they are managing their living arrangements to minimize the disruption for their daughters. The couple now alternate between staying in their family home and a small studio apartment, but the daughters don’t stay with her.
“The girls refuse to stay with me at the house during my weeks, but they stay in the studio with my husband,” the poster wrote. She added she is also hopeful that selling the family home, which has appreciated significantly since they purchased it, will provide them with two comfortable homes postdivorce.
The woman closed her post by recounting a painful conversation with her daughters, who reinforced their stance against the divorce: “Last week they made it clear that if I filed for divorce, they will never see me again. I said I was never going back to him, and they said I made my choice.”
Stock image of a distressed woman slumped on a couch. The mom sought advice from the Reddit community after her daughters’ refusal to accept her decision to leave their dad.
ilona titova/iStock / Getty Images Plus
Expert Weighs In
Michelle King Rayfield, LMFT, a certified EMDR therapist and clinical trauma professional, shared her insights with Newsweek.
“The first thing you should focus on is your emotional well-being,” Rayfield said.
“Discovering that your husband cheated on you, especially during a vulnerable time like pregnancy, is incredibly painful. Feeling a whirlwind of emotions—betrayal, sadness, and even anger—is expected. Seeking individual therapy can be a game-changer.”
Rayfield also said that, once the poster has taken time to heal, it is essential to set clear boundaries with her husband, particularly regarding their living arrangements and co-parenting approach.
“Establishing boundaries regarding your living arrangements and interactions is crucial to regain control. Consider having open, honest conversations about how his actions have affected you and what you need moving forward. This clarity can help both of you navigate the next steps.” Rayfield added.
She said how important it is for the poster to stay connected with her daughters, despite the current rift.
“They’re likely experiencing a range of emotions, from confusion to anger. Reassure them that your love for them remains steadfast, regardless of the circumstances. Encourage them to share their feelings and let them know it’s OK to feel upset about what’s happening.”
Small bonding activities can go a long way, Rayfield said. “Think about planning enjoyable activities that allow you to reconnect. These shared moments can create positive memories, even amid the upheaval,” she added.
Involving a family therapist could also facilitate these conversations and provide practical communication tools to help the poster and her daughters navigate the emotional landscape.
Reddit Reacts
Reddit users were quick to support the poster and sympathize with her dilemma.
One user wrote: “Yeah, OP’s [original poster] whole world has fallen apart, and she’s probably feeling like the whole marriage was a lie. Her kids, on the other hand, just feel like OP is making their world fall apart. NTA [Not the a******]. Everyone here needs counseling. I wouldn’t be surprised if OP uncovers more lies and infidelity.”
Another echoed this sentiment, saying: “NTA. They’re young and scared, which equals poor decisions. They understand that their dad did something bad, but in child logic, you are the one causing the problem, because you are the one who wants to change things. It sucks and it’s unfair. Hopefully, they’ll figure it out with therapy sooner rather than later. But no matter what happens, you’re not the a******. You’re not doing anything wrong.”
Newsweek reached out to u/Ok_Ostrich5154 for comment via Reddit. We could not verify the details of the case.
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