A woman has called out a specific detail that is her “pet peeve” in wedding invitations, in a clip that has already gained 200,000 views on TikTok.
In the video, Bay Area resident Ariel, who did not share her surname, sparked widespread debate about the growing trend of personalized dress codes at weddings. Ariel passionately expressed her frustration with wedding invitations that misuse dress codes, making it difficult for guests to know what to wear.
“My absolute insane biggest gripe for all the weddings I’m going to right now is the dress code,” Ariel said in the video. “The ‘dress code’ is called the ‘dress code’ for a reason. It’s a universal code that everyone should follow. For example, black tie means floor length, cocktail means above the knee. It is a universal code. You cannot just go and make up dress codes.”
She went on to describe the confusing instructions she received for an upcoming wedding, where the dress code was labeled “smart casual,” but with a note for bright and unconventional colors, making it confusing. Ariel also recalled another invitation with a dress code labeled “mountain cocktail,” which she criticized as being “literally made up.”
“I’ve noticed people are using theme and dress code interchangeably, and the themes as dress codes are getting more and more hyperspecific,” Ariel told Newsweek. “I want dress codes to stick to their original intent, being a universal code everyone knows to follow. For example, black tie is a floor-length gown.”
The inspiration for the video struck when Ariel received two recent wedding invites. She believes people are confusing dress codes with wedding themes, leading to confusion for guests.
A picture of the woman who shared her biggest wedding invite pet peeve on TikTok.
@flaw_liss/TikTok
“Dressy Casual”
“As a general rule, most wedding dress codes are not confusing. Most couples will clearly state on the invitation the dress code—and, in most cases, the ‘traditional’ interpretation of that dress code is expected. However, in some cases, a couple is keen for, or open to, a mix of dress codes, and/or, are keen for a theme,” Jo Hayes, etiquette expert, consultant and founder of EtiquetteExpert.org, told Newsweek.
Ariel’s frustration resonated with many viewers, who shared their own experiences of being baffled by confusing dress codes.
“My personal favorite was ‘dressy casual’ like WHAT DO YOU MEAN,” said commenter Abbey. While viewer Hummeline said: “Most egregious ones I’ve seen were ‘San Francisco semi-formal’ and ‘woods formal.'”
“I went to a ‘dress code: chic, bratty’ wedding this year,” said TikToker Riann in the comments.
“I think dress codes and themes have been amplified by people sharing their weddings on social media and TikTok and trying to make them different or unique,” Ariel said. “I have nothing wrong with that—I just don’t appreciate it being called a dress code and receiving contradicting information.”
But Hayes explained that whatever dress code the couple desires should be adhered to by the guests, and it is all about being clear in the invites. “This is acceptable, as long as it’s clearly spelled out on the invitation,” Hayes said. “If couples want to err off ‘traditional’ dress codes, or add a twist, such as a color or theme, simply state this clearly on the invitation. As per all things in life, clear communication is key.”
