A teenager’s decision to stop calling his stepmother “mom” has been applauded by viewers online, despite it irking his father.
The 17-year-old, who goes by u/tall-lengthiness-330 on Reddit, took to the platform on October 2 to share that he had defiantly stood up against his father’s wishes to call his new partner his mom, which led to a falling out in their family home. Viewers online rallied around the teenager, with most offering support and backing his decision.
“My parents divorced when I was a baby and my dad remarried when I was 5,” the man wrote in his post. “When I was 7, I started to call my stepmom ‘mom’ [for] a little and that’s what felt natural to me. After I had said it several times my dad gave my [biological] mom a heads up about it.”
However, the affectionate term quickly came to a halt after the boy overheard a hurtful conversation between his father and stepmother regarding his biological mother. “I overheard my dad and stepmom trash talking my mom, calling her hurt and offended, and even labeled her a big baby,” he said.
A file photo of a man having a tense conversation with his son. A teenager has been backed online after sharing why he no longer wants to call his stepmother “mom.”
Getty Images
The teenager then decided that he didn’t want to further hurt his biological mother, who had always been respectful and supportive, by calling his stepmom his mother. The young boy’s change in behavior didn’t go unnoticed, and the tension around his refusal to continue using the term grew over time.
Dr. Lisa Pion-Berlin, a licensed hypnotherapist and the CEO of Parents Anonymous, weighed in on the situation.
“Communication is key in any family, especially in blended families,” she told Newsweek. “It’s completely okay for this teenager to decide how to address his stepmom. There’s no wrong way here, and his comfort is the priority.”
Pion-Berlin emphasized the importance of not speaking negatively about co-parents in front of children, as it can lead to confusion and resentment.
“It’s vital not to ‘talk down’ on the other parent in front of the kids,” she said. “This can cause confusion and even resentment towards one or both parents, putting children in a position where they feel they have to choose sides.”
The teenager’s father recently confronted him about the sudden shift in his behavior and his refusal to call his stepmother “mom.” He responded honestly, revealing that he had overheard their demeaning conversation and it had deeply affected him.
“I told him that I heard everything they said, and it made me re-evaluate whether my stepmother deserved to be called ‘mom’,” he said. “They disrespected my mom, and that was unacceptable.”
The father then accused him of lying and criticized him for holding a grudge.
“The best thing to do here is to communicate one’s feelings while being considerate of others’ emotions,” Pion-Berlin said. “The teenager should let his dad and stepmom know that using her name feels more natural and doesn’t diminish the love or respect that he has for her. It’s all about being true to yourself while fostering mutual respect.”
Widespread Support
Despite Pion-Berlin’s more measured approach, users have largely backed the teenager.
“They are only mad because you remembered the incident and called them out on it,” one user said. “And the blame IS on them, they were the ones that said it and gloated about your mums hurt, not you or your mum.”
Another added: “NTA [not the a******] for standing up for your mom and setting boundaries with your dad and stepmom. It’s completely understandable that you wouldn’t want to call your stepmom ‘mom’ after hearing them trash talk your mother, especially when it seemed like they were dismissing her feelings. You have every right to decide how you want to address the important people in your life, and it sounds like you’re doing what feels right for you. Your dad needs to take responsibility for how his actions and words impacted your relationship with your stepmom. You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“Dad and stepmom are huge hypocrites,” a third user shared.
Newsweek reached out to u/tall-lengthiness-330 for more information via Reddit.
If you have a family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
