A man has sparked discussion on Reddit after seeking advice about whether he would be in the wrong to end his engagement due to his fiancée’s sudden change in behavior.
In the viral post, which has received 15,000 upvotes, the 32-year-old original poster (OP), writing with the username u/Glittering_Trifle421, shared how his fiancée of seven weeks, Sharon, had undergone a “total 180” degree shift in her attitude since their engagement. Newsweek spoke to Seith Eisenberg, the president and CEO of the Practical Application of Intimate Relationship Skills (PAIRS) Foundation, about if, and how, the relationship can be salvaged.
In the post, the OP wrote that his fiancée, Sharon—who had seemed like the ideal partner during their two-year relationship—introduced a new set of friends shortly after their engagement. She had never mentioned these friends before, telling the OP she wanted to be sure the pair were “a sure thing” before he met her “inner circle.”
A wedding cake is broken in half. A post on Reddit has gone viral after a man asked for advice about ending his engagement.
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What followed, though, was a series of concerning incidents, including unannounced visits from the friends who raided his wine collection, he said. A dinner with the group turned tense on one occasion, with his fiancée’s friends “prodding” into his life while deflecting questions from him. To the OP’s shock, he said Sharon’s views on monogamy and keeping exes as friends—once aligned with his—seemed to have suddenly shifted.
The situation escalated when Sharon lent out the OP’s golf clubs without his permission, leading to a heated argument. She accused him of being “toxic” and “fragile” when he raised concerns about her behavior, and although she later apologized, the OP wasn’t fully convinced.
“I told her to return the ring and her key, and we would talk about our relationship this weekend,” the OP wrote. “She cried and begged me not to cancel the engagement and insisted that it was just stress…She finally relented. I had my house re-keyed anyways after she left, just to be safe. Sharon has been texting me constant messages of love and apologies for getting swept up, and insisted she was only wanting to show me off to her close friends.”
Commenters on Reddit overwhelmingly supported the OP’s concerns, with many pointing out that the sudden introduction of the new friends was suspicious: “This ‘inner circle of friends’ that she didn’t talk about or introduce you to in two years of dating sounds very sketchy,” u/Curious-One4595 wrote. “Your concerns are legitimate. This is not the woman you fell in love with.”
“She put on quite a show to get the ring and now that she thought she had you locked down, she can show her true colors,” u/away-Understanding34 wrote.
Some Redditors advised the man to consider practical safeguards. One user, u/xasdfxx, suggested that if the OP considered continuing the relationship, he should definitely insist on a prenuptial agreement.
Expert Opinion
Eisenberg told Newsweek that the OP’s fiancée’s sudden change in behavior was indeed a red flag.
“There are layers beneath this surface behavior that need exploring,” he said. “Was she hiding her true self before, only to reveal it now that the engagement feels like a secure ‘lock’? Or is the pressure of commitment bringing out unresolved fears, insecurities, or issues around identity and control?”
Eisenberg said that the key issue in the relationship seems to be Sharon’s disregard for the OP’s boundaries, especially in the situations he described about lending out his personal belongings.
“Whether it’s bringing over unannounced guests, lending out his personal belongings or shifting core beliefs, these actions show a lack of respect. A strong relationship relies on both partners feeling heard and valued,” Eisenberg said. “When one person starts to ignore or belittle the other’s feelings, it erodes the trust and safety that should form the foundation of a marriage.”
Many commenters wrote that the OP’s actions—questioning whether he should proceed with the engagement—were not only justified but necessary. Some suggested that the fiancée’s behavior could be a reflection of deeper issues that had not surfaced earlier in the relationship.
Eisenberg agreed, advising the couple: “Before making any drastic decisions, the couple needs to sit down and have an honest, heart-to-heart conversation. Communication is key to understanding whether these changes are a reflection of deeper fears and anxieties about the future or if they signal a fundamental incompatibility.”
Ultimately, the story has opened up a broader conversation about red flags in relationships and the impact of post-engagement dynamics. The support for the OP’s concerns remains strong in the comments section, though, with many advising him to consider his long-term happiness before moving forward with the wedding.
Newsweek reached out to u/Glittering_Trifle421 for comment via Reddit.
