A man has sparked outrage online for refusing to support his wife’s three children after their biological father passed away, and Newsweek spoke to an expert about the matter.
Redditor u/Glad-Mix-9982 vented in a post on the popular ‘AITAH’ (“Am I The A******) forum and asked fellow users how they felt about it. He explained that his wife has three kids and her children’s father has 12.
“From the first day that we met, I made it clear that I will not be financially responsible for her kids. I already have a kid I need to support, I can’t support more kids. It’s not my fault that she married a man who doesn’t know what a condom is, it’s not my fault that he had way more children than he can afford,” he wrote in the post.
Unhappy young girl watch her parent arguing from the stair. A personal finance expert told Newsweek that it’s important to talk openly about your budget with your partner and save for unexpected financial setbacks in the future.
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He explained that since his wife’s partner passed away, she no longer receives child support and is now expecting him to fill the financial gap.
He argued that his stance has remained consistent since the start of the relationship and also expressed frustration that his wife has not been transparent about any financial support her children might receive now that their father is deceased.
At the time of writing, the post has received 8,200 upvotes and over 5,000 comments from other Reddit users. While some empathized with his situation, most users criticized his ignorance for entering a marriage with a partner who already has children as it comes with certain responsibilities.
Many agreed the original poster (OP) should simply get a divorce if he wasn’t willing to share his financial income with his wife’s family. “If you don’t want to put food on the table of everyone who lives with you, then you should divorce. Not sure that you come out of that as a winner financially either. Not sure I would say YTA, but I cannot see a way forward if you are firm on this line. Do a service to both of you and divorce now,” one Redditor commented.
Another user was in disbelief that the OP would marry a woman with three kids and not consider them family: “I would see if they were dating but no this man married her knowing she has three kids. He should have left her alone when he found out she has three kids. To me he is a complete a******.”
Others chimed in with some practical advice for the wife’s children. The most-liked comment came from u/Melodic_Policy765: “Her kids should be able to apply for social security payments on behalf of the deceased father.”
Newsweek spoke to Amy Knight, a personal finance expert at NerdWallet UK, who recognized a host of financial complexities that play a part in blended families.
“The high cost of raising children, from nursery fees to school uniforms, puts a financial strain on many couples and can be particularly difficult for those with multiple children from different relationships,” she told Newsweek.
Knight highlighted the importance of proactive financial planning—both as a couple and individually—if or when the time comes to tighten the purse strings a little.
“Frank conversations with your partner about ‘what if’ scenarios can highlight areas where you can strengthen your financial resilience, such as building emergency savings, both as individuals and as a couple,” she told Newsweek.
When entering a relationship with a partner who has children from a previous relationship, Knight said that open conversations are essential to protect everyone involved on a financial and emotional level.
“Don’t dodge the difficult questions [and] embrace the opportunity to work through the nitty-gritty of how your financial lives will become intertwined,” she concluded.
Another Redditor summed up how they felt about the situation: “Friend when you marry, you create a family together. And if you aren’t ready to do that, then don’t marry. It’s not nice for kids to all be living in the same house together and some of them getting nice toys, vacations, going on fun trips, etc. and others watching but excluded. It is your choice to marry her. She can’t just leave her kids behind, so when you marry her, you have to think of all of them as family.”
Newsweek reached out to u/Glad-Mix-9982 via Reddit. We could not verify details of the case.
